Should I end my relationship?
Some consider life to be too short to spend in a relationship that isn’t right for you.
Breaking up with your partner is never easy, whatever age you are or however long you’ve been together. You always worry about what is going to happen; whether the grass truly is greener on the other side.
When ending your relationship means divorce, there’s an extra dimension - untangling your financial affairs, dividing your assets, discussing a financial settlement and making provisions for your children. Divorce is emotional and the process can be protracted.
If you’ve never previously experienced legal matters, it can be intimidating. When should you consult a Family Lawyer?
If your relationship isn’t working, you may owe it to yourself to end it. In this article, we’ll look at five signs that it may be time to consider divorce.
1 – Your partner is abusive
This is a pretty obvious and should go without saying. If your partner is abusive towards you, it’s time to leave.
In 2019, 1.6 million women in the UK experienced domestic abuse. This figure does not take account of incidents that were not reported, nor does it calculate the number of men suffering from abuse.
Abuse doesn’t have to be physical, of course. Emotional abuse can be just as dangerous, possibly more so, because it is invisible, insidious, undermining and erodes your self-esteem. If you are in an abusive relationship, try to find someone you trust who can help you get out safely. Seek legal advice.
2 – Your partner doesn’t meet your needs
We all have our own specific needs in a relationship. We like to have quality time with our partner, as well as time to ourselves. We also rely on our partners to help us through our daily lives, to provide financial support and simply to help around the home.
If your partner is not stepping up to fulfil these needs and you have expressed your concerns, then it may be time to move on. If you are receiving emotional support from someone outside your relationship, it may be an indication that on an emotional level, you have already left the relationship.
3 – Your partner has changed beyond recognition
We all change as we move through life, in our physical appearance, our interests and our general personality. It’s just what happens. However, your partner’s characteristics may have altered to such an extent that you no longer recognise nor love the person you married.
Your partner could now be a stranger and your relationship is simply not working.
If you feel this way, the best option for you both may be to end the relationship.
4 – You’re not excited about the future
One of the great things about being in a relationship is looking towards the future, making plans for the life you are going to have together.
If you cannot see you and your partner being together in a few months or years down the line, it may be a sign that you should end the relationship. Likewise, if you think of a future together that fills you with dread, it may be worth consulting a Family Lawyer to consider your options.
If your future plans do not involve your partner, or involve someone else, then it may be helpful to you both to move on.
5 – You’ve tried everything else
When you’ve been together for a long time, especially if you have children, it’s understandable that you don’t want to leave on a whim. It is beneficial to your entire family to try to save your relationship – changing your lifestyles, working on yourself, going to counselling, whatever works.
However, sometimes a relationship cannot be saved. It has come to the end of its natural life and it’s time formalise its conclusion. If so, at Goodsells Family Law we would endeavour to resolve all issues as amicably as possible.
What to do next
If you feel you are in this situation; that it’s time to end your relationship, talk to your partner. It won’t be easy and it won’t be fun but you have to do it. If you need advice, talk to friends you can trust, or even a professional counsellor. You should also consult a specialist, experienced Family Lawyer.
If ending your relationship leads to divorce, your next step should be to obtain early legal advice. A Family Law specialist would explain the divorce process, answer your questions, allay your fears and eventually ensure that you obtain the best possible outcome.